Happy Thanksgiving Bandland!

Today (and EVERY Day) I am Thankful for my Loving husband, My Family, My Friends, My Faith and My Music!

Today has to be one of the worst Thanksgivings I have ever spent in my life! Or maybe I should look at it as one of the best?

You see, I came down with a Horrible, horrible cold/flu this week. I have been fighting to stay healthy this year as you may or may not remember, my boss and another person in my office retired and I am the only one there that knows "shit about anything" right now. SO, I can't afford to be sick. Well I am! Plus I have a concert on Saturday night and I just don't know how I am going to sing with my voice sounding like a bullfrog in heat right now!

Anyway, I have done NOTHING but lay on the couch under a blanket and watch TV, or sit up with the laptop in my lap! In addition to being sick, DH had to work this afternoon, (he works nights 2:30 - 11) so it wasn't even worth trying to go out and have some turkey at a local restaurant. I was so looking forward to going to my SIL's for her fantabulous dinner spread! She always makes the best dinners when we are having a holiday celebration. But with DH having to work and me being sick, plus we get a "winter weather" advisory and it started snowing at 9 am. We didn't get to go or eat anything "Thanksgivingy" today! I'm SSSOOO bummed, but then again, in a way, I am very thankful that I didn't have to NOT eat "everything in sight" thinking pre-band days and wanting to have it all, just to be miserable afterward as you lay on the couch and sleep while the football game is on!

My hope is to celebrate a very Happy Thanksgiving on Saturday with MY family, eat all the turkey I can (within reason and that 1 cup portion control) and then be able to sing in the concert without a problem. I'm thinking I may be able to kick this thing in the butt if I have another day like today, tomorrow!

♥ ♥ ♥ Have a Wonderful and Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

DH made the Blahs go away!

I just have to share what my DH said to me right after we finished dinner as I was reading some new posts... He asked me "So, when you post on your blog, why do you refer to me as DH?"

You see, he was under the assumption that I was lovingly calling him a Dick Head!!! 

:-) Yes he is the man I married and love with all my heart! :-)

Thought I'd share that little piece of laughter for my evening!

Sunday Blahs...

I'm feeling  bit blah today, I read all the blogs that I follow and everyone seems to be having some really great accomplishments. And I must say congratulations to you all. As I sit here struggling to even get off the couch myself, I feel horrible that DH is terribly sick with a horrible cold I am fighting to NOT catch it. I am also feeling urges to revert back to my old NON-bander days of laying on the couch all day watching TV and eating.

Of course we are sitting (laying) here watching "Man vs. Food" on the Travel Channel... He is at "The Vortex" in Atlanta, GA. and eating some really big burgers! SOME of them even sound and look really, REALLY good. BUT how would I ever even think I could eat one of those??? (maybe 1/4 of one but never the whole thing). As some of you may remember my sister just moved to Atlanta. Should I tell her to go check out this place and tell me what the food HONESTLY taste like? Maybe they really don't taste as good as this guy says they do and I wouldn't like them at all! :-) (Hey, Wake up stupid honey! You did just finish putting a nice pork loin roast in the crock pot with lots of veggies for dinner. And yesterday you did chicken breast with that homemade "Spanish rice type" sauce over shell pasta). This time of year DH loves that I will cook on the weekends and I love that the Crock pot makes it so easy for me. Then we have lots of left overs for lunches during the week. Since he works nights and I work days it's nice to be able to have our weekend dinners together. They are healthy, and he can eat as much as he wants while I eat my one cup and am done.

After my last fill and unfill, I have settled back into the good eating habits that we all need to have... small bites, chewing lots, little to no liquids till at least 1/2 hour after. And after coming home from Florida, I have had no sliming, which is a really good thing. I am thinking that nerves played a big part in that whole episode! When I got on the scale this morning, I am UNofficially below 180! so why do I feel so blah? I say unofficially because I will not post it as "Official" until the Dr weighs me and I weigh in at that weight! I guess I'm just in one of "those" moods. I know I am doing everything right and I know I am losing, toning and slowly getting to my goal. I just don't understand it sometimes.

It's Veterans Day!

And I'm thinking... Having a "holiday" and being off on a Thursday does that to me... I'm thinking about veterans that I know, and those that I don't. How they served this country, and what they gave (or gave up) so that I could live in the best country in the world.

I've been thinking... about blogging for quite some time, but as you see I did not get enough rounded up in my head until yesterday to actually get some down on paper, Or on this blog. I think the reason behind me not blogging, in addition to just plain being extremely busy and out of touch with my bander friends, was the fact that I have a very hard time writing things in a way that makes sense to anyone except myself. After going to Florida and spending 3 wonderful days with my BFF. I found myself thinking alot about and feeling the need to get on here again and start talking. I also need to get back to the gym. That free membership that I won was up in October and I did sign up for a paid one. however, I have been to Zumba class once since then and not even gotten the gumption to get up and go to walk on a treadmill or ride a bike... I need some enthusiasm, or encouragement or maybe just a good swift kick in the ass to make me go again. I love my Zumba so it's not that I don't want to go... I just find that with all the "Crap" that is still going on at work I say... "I'll go tomorrow" a lot lately!

For the most part friends, I am able to eat some things normally and not worry about it when I try to eat. However, I'm not able to eat before at least 10 or 11 am and sometimes not until later than that. Then I have to be very, very careful not to eat to fast and to make sure that I chew it all to oblivion before I try to swallow. Can someone please tell me why it is that you are so much tighter in the morning and then can eat almost anything (and/or EVERYTHING) just before you are supposed to go to bed?  All in all I am feeling well with my band and my loss to this point. I do not have any reflux, but there are a lot of times that I feel as tho I have a lump in my throat and it just does not go away till well into the afternoon. UNLESS I get myself a cup or two of the hottest (and I mean really hot) decaffeinated tea or hot cider from Dunkin Donuts! Then and only then it seems that I can adjust into a "normal" day in the life of a bander, If there is such a thing!

My "happy" goal that I keep talking about is easily within site and now I find myself wondering if I should lower my goal expectations, or raise them? which would it be? Should I make my happy goal lower to make myself work harder at hitting it? My BFF made a comment at one point when I was there and she said she was worried about me making myself sick and when I slime is that a sign that I AM at my sweet spot and should have some more taken back out? I don't think I need to have any more out, BUT, I do however, do NOT believe that I want any more in at least until well after the Holidays... If I can make it thru Thanksgiving and Christmas... Which are HUGE Food holidays in my and my DH's family, I will be excited beyond belief. And then January 12th is my Bandiversary. I really want to be, at the very least. to my happy goal and/or below by then. Sssooo... What do you think banders? My next appointment to see the Doc is 11/22. And I'm gonna tell you right now, I am NOT having a fill that day!

Me and Eileen - MIA

Not really missing... just busy still... altho' I'm thinking that I have begun to slow down a bit for the winter. LOL! So here are some updates for now.

The wedding on 10-10-10 went off beautifully, without a hitch. I sang the best I know how and every time I started to choke up in the middle of a note the best man would look over his shoulder and smile at me. that would make me look the other way and concentrate on the song, not my emotions at the moment. I'll post a couple pictures as soon as I can but at the moment they are held hostage in my old PC that died last weekend and is in the shop right now.

10-14 I had my appointment to have my fill... and yup, no questions asked I got .50 cc's put in. I was good for a couple days and right up until after the show. then I started having problems. the feeling of a lump in my throat all the time and just not able to eat, even remotely normal. Only thing I could get down was hot hot liquids. So I called the office abut couldn't get in until the 25th

10-23-10, my barbershop chorus had a joint show with our brother barbershop chorus. it was a great time. could have had a few more people in attendance but we had approx 175 there and that was enough for this first time having a joint show! my quartet was the first performers. and I know your going to get tired of hearing this but...Can you say nervous? We made it thru and the entire show was a success. And of course pictures will be posted later... again after I can access them on the PC again

I had my appointment with my surgeon to have my UNfill on the 25th. And he seemed unconcerned at the need to take some out. I dropped 6 pounds, and am within 8 pounds of my "Happy" goal now. He ended up telling me that I must be very close to my sweet spot and took 1/2 of what he had put in on the 14th out. So I am at 3.25 cc's in right now. For the most part I've been good at that until of course I got ready for my trip to see my bff for a quick whirlwind trip to Florida on 11/4.

I can only assume the anxiety, and nerves over flying, seeing my bff for the first time in almost 2 years, since she retired and moved to Florida and the anxiety of telling her about my band, AND trying to "make a good impression" as the perfect band patient had a lot to do with it. But the entire trip was centered around me wanting to eat, and not being able to eat. Getting to a restaurant and ordering, taking one bite and ending up boxing it all home because I would have to run to the ladies room and slime. Never actually threw-up. but there were at least 4 episodes where I felt like I should have just said I wasn't hungry and ordered only a drink. But the "coming out" was a success I think. both the BFF and her hubby told me how proud they were of me for doing this for myself. BFF wished she could have been here for me on surgery day. and we both cried and hugged a lot. I love her so much... she really is my sister from another mother.  I did drop another 3 pounds tho'... UNOfficially I am within 5 pounds of the first "happy" goal... Yippee!!!

Any way, we came home (DH & I) on 11/7, (told you it was a quick trip) and the story that headlined the local paper the next day... Elmira-bound Allegiant flight hits large bird, damages landing gear

stargazette.com, Star-Gazette... (I posted previously)  We NEVER felt or heard a thing... it was a smooth, uneventful flight... Or so we thought.

Now I am preparing for my boss's retirement next week. Anxiety... ugh, here I come AGAIN... BUT hey, tomorrow is Veterans Day, I would like to say a big, "Thank You" to all the Veterans out there reading this. I appreciate the sacrifices you and your loved ones made to keep America Free, and I don't have to work! Yahoo. However, I do on Friday! ;-)

Until next time...

Elmira-bound Allegiant flight hits large bird, damages landing gear | stargazette.com | Star-Gazette

Elmira-bound Allegiant flight hits large bird, damages landing gear stargazette.com Star-Gazette

OMG It's Wedding Weekend!

No NOT mine, thank god! Altho I would marry my wonderful hubster again in a heartbeat, this weekend is my Brother's wedding! I cannot believe that it is here already. Brother seems to be fine, Bride is a nervous wreck, Matron of honor has pneumonia, and I am crazy excited yet extremely nervous to sing for them!

I'm not nervous to sing, it's what and who I will be singing in front of. I am singing "God Bless the Broken Road" and there is a LOT of inside meaning to this song for both the bride and groom. I have yet to practice the song without crying at some point. So tell me how am I to get thru it on Sunday in front of family and at such a special occasion that I want to be perfect for both of them! AARRGGHH!!!

And let us not forget that I have this Band that NO one in my family knows about except my brother and DH! We ALL know that nerves make it act up, and I am so afraid that mine will prevent me from eating at all this weekend... Hey that might be a good thing tho since I have a Fill appointment next week and am to get a fill NO questions asked! :-( Remember, we (my surgeon & I) agreed to disagree on this subject??? I've been hovering in the high 180's for 3 months now. I do not feel that I have lost anything since I was last in to see him but with all the commotion going on in my life in October and the planning and preparation it isn't any wonder if I haven't. I haven't been to the gym in a month and I am so upset at myself for that! Oh well, some day I hope my life will slow down and I will be able to get back to concentrating on me and Eileen. I am within 25 pounds of my "Happy" goal. I hope I can get there before Christmas!!!

OK, Sorry for the short but rambling post... But I am off to decorate! I hope to post again after the wedding. Maybe even with pictures!!!

Life "CRAP"

Oh Yeah, Life "CRAP" is the only way to put it... My reasons for not being a good blogger THIS time! :-)

#1. Lots of stressful changes at work, to the point where people were demoted and escorted out of the facility. Others left for other jobs with no notice. 2 from my office giving notice that they are retiring sooner than expected, and now the one that just got a promotion to my office is looking to get promoted OUT and that leaves me all alone by myself in the office that is (when fully staffed) is at 6 employees. I will drown and that is not a joke! On top of all that a vacation in November that I have been planning for months will probably get canceled because of all the people leaving and the office not being staffed... someone has to do at lease SOME of the work! Good thing this isn't a choral trip or I would really be pissed!!! (Like I'm not anyway :-(  GGGRRR!)

#2. My Chorus "fun" stress... we are having a show on October 23rd, just preparing, selling ads for the program, tickets, learning the show script and songs, and trying to learn 3 new songs with the quartet.There is so much work that goes into a "show" and it is all over in about 2 hours on "show" night.

#3. Family "Happy/fun" stress... my brother is getting married on October 10th and I am singing in the wedding... I just found out they want TWO (yes 2) songs at 2 different times.  I'm trying to help the bride get organized and stuff done because my brother LOVED the way I put MY wedding together... UGH. Oh, and we are moving her from Harrisburg to Mansfield where he lives THIS Weekend! That in itself will be a feat... Harrisburg is 3 hours away!

#4. Family "happy" stress... I got a new baby... I adopted another kitty! she is 2 months old and boy is she a trip. the 2 older cats don't care for her much but they are getting used to her... slowly. She on the other hand, if she doesn't want to eat, she is scurrying around right under your feet, OR sleeping as close to, if not ON your belly! I forgot what it was like to try and train a kitten what she can or should not climb on!

#5 Family "really Crappy" stress... My sister that I visited in Ohio has moved to Atlanta, GA. and one of her cats, she had 3, when moved from Ohio to Atlanta... had heart failure and died Wednesday night/early Thursday morning! As much as they are animals, they become our children and my sister sometimes has depression issues anyway... She is a mess and they have only been in their new house 4 days. Already a $5000 vet hospital bill and no energy to "move in".

Ok, I'm done with my post of life crap! I was returning an e-mail to our LB buddy BG from work (Oh and btw, THANKS Everyone!!!  for not posting, and for commenting on my few, as I was the wonderful winner of the SWA challenge, hehehe! BG assures me that my winnings (thong) will be arriving shortly) for support and said I should just send this to my home e-mail and then post it as my reason for being out of touch lately, huh? Well here it is. I was supposed to get a fill yesterday, but had lost another 3 pounds so he was ok with not filling again, however, he said let's get you back in 3 weeks and put a smidgen in to maybe "bump up" the numbers for next time. I'm down 54 total pounds now and I am losing inches because of the ZUMBA classes at the gym. I am happy! ;-) Altho' I have started to become hungry between meals, to the point where I eat to fast when I do eat, things get stuck or I swallow air and I end up then having to go the bathroom and slime or actually throw up.  So I'm guessing that a fill in 3 weeks will be needed.

So there you have it... My Life "CRAP"! It really is the only way to put it!

SWA - What's up with U?

Just wanted to take a moment and say "HEY" to all my SWA Challenge folks! What's up and what happenin? Got on the scale today and it said 188! I am a happy girl with that as long as it continues to go down.

I've had a busy weekend and took today off to rest and relax with some friends! NASCAR's race was in my local town this weekend and I spent 2 full days up there selling souvenirs with my chorus pals. Didn't eat as well as I could and should have but I kept it small and I was busy enough to "work" it off. Now I am heading to my friends house to sit by her pool for the afternoon. My regular routine will resume tomorrow. Work, ZUMBA, the right foods... BUT, I will just be glad to be back in a routine! Maybe not so much the work but, the ZUMBA and my regular eating routine will be very welcomed.

SWA - I don't get it!

I just don't get it! Fellow Scale whores! Why??? Can you tell me? I get on the scale this morning right after getting up and doing the normal P & P, before the shower and it says 185... Holy CRAP... Are you kidding me? OMG, OMG, OMG!!! I run to get the camera so I can snap a shot of it and get back on and WTF? It says 190! I'm off and on again...190... Off & On...190! DAMN! Where in the hell did that 5 lbs come from in less than 2 minutes? I guess it just goes to show you that being a SWA really is an obsession, huh? Oh well, I can now mark down that goal (190) achieved at least! Whoo Hoo!!!

SWA - Follow me I'M BEGGING

OK BG here is my first post of the day today... lets see if I can get this challenge right. I'm posting a pic of the scale this morning! Only 1/2 pound to go for my next goal... Comments anyone? EVERYONE?

And PLEASE I need more Followers!!!

I forgot

OMG, I can't believe I forgot to tell you all this! One of the reasons that I have been out of touch lately, and such a bad blogger is all the things that are going on in the life and times of my family this summer!!! And two of these things are success stories of Eileen, Fillene and me.

Success #1... What you may not know is, I am the youngest of 5 siblings, 3 girls and 2 boys. And 2 weeks ago I went to see my great niece (and sister, Brother-in-law, niece in Ohio) I posted a blog and picture of her on her birthday 7/2, before they move to Atlanta GA and a lot longer trip to go see them at the end of August. This sis is the middle child. Anyway, I left here on Friday morning, picked up a sweet traveling friend (because DH couldn't get the time off work to go) and drove 5 hours from my house in PA to their house in OH. We had a great, almost, 3 days together. My friend and I left and came home late on Sunday. But I guess, one of the best parts is that I ALMOST told my sister about my band. (This picture is me and my friend in front of the Cleveland Browns Stadium, I'm the one on the left, in white) You see my friend has had the Bypass (and has lost 122 lbs in a year) and my sister was so interested in the surgery that a very big part of the conversation revolved alot of the time around what she could or couldn't eat, how she feels and would she do it again, etc., etc... She (my sis) asked alot of things and wanted to know how I had lost my weight. I just said that I have been mentored by my traveling friend and had won the membership to the gym and in 6 months of very hard work this is what I had done. I was almost ready to tell my sister and then we got interrupted by something and I chickened out and the truth of my story did not get told. However, when we left my BIL said to me as he is hugging me... "don't get any skinnier, I won't know who you are next time I see you"!  C'mon... Me... Skinny????? I have NEVER in my life been SKINNY! but it sure felt good to hear them talk and tell me they were proud of me!

Success #2... The 18th of July was my MIL's birthday. and the DH's fam ALWAYS has a party for her now that she is getting up there in age. (She's Only 72, but she claims that she is "Really Old"). This years party was at the middle son's house in Harrisburg, PA which has a pool and we all love to swim and be in the sun so we make the trek to his house to swim and celebrate their Mom! DH and I got up really early that day as it is a 3 hour drive for us and we are the farthest away. Grabbed a hot decaf tea and an egg & cheese "wake up wrap" at a Dunkin Donuts drive thru and we are on our way. We were there by 11:30am but (DH is the oldest of 4) only the youngest brother was not there, and he pulled in about 10 minutes after we did. All in all it was a good day of swimming, drinking wine and eating. I did well with my eating and didn't have 2nds. But I DID have that piece of ice cream cake that had MY name on it. Anyway, the success for me was when we walked into the back yard where the pool is. (BTW, None of these people have seen me since Christmas) (This picture was taken that day 7/25/10) Everyone except MIL was in the pool and when they saw us coming my SIL turned and said "Hi San..... Shes taking a double take now... OMG Look at you! Holy Shit, You look FANTASTIC" and then the conversation ensued of how I had done it! No, I wasn't even tempted to tell them, like I was with my own sister, but they all were very proud of me! MIL said... now if you could get him (DH) to lose some to maybe he'd feel better?!?! Gotta love her! DH feels fine, she just thinks there is something wrong with all of us! LOL

I've posted some pictures on facebook and of course people are noticing and saying things and wanting pointers on how to do it. I'm becoming quite a little fibber... So there you have it. I am not only a bad blogger. I'm becoming a very good liar too! hehehe :-)

It's OFFICIAL

Yes it is official... I am a horrible blogger... I am so sorry that I post and then disappear for days/weeks at a time... Just let me say this I am fine... I am actually better than fine... I AM GREAT!

Today I had my 6 month appointment with my surgeon. I fully and completely thought for sure he would want to give me a smidgen of a fill. and I fully expected to have a gain on the scale. because if all the damn exercise I've been doing I expected to either still be at 196 or have a gain due to all the toning and building of muscles I have been doing at the gym...

(Speaking of the gym. I had promised the explanation of the differences between ZUMBA and Tabata. First of all I LOVE them both, and that is an accomplishment in itself since until this year I HATED to exercise. An I do mean I hated it. I'd take a walk or something easy like that but actual cardio, or a class such as these... Hah, Forget it! the difference between ZUMBA & Tabata is dance vs. just exercise. But they both help me feel like I am doing something. ZUMBA is Latin and other dance moves put to music and it is called a "PARTY" in the gym. And you can't be afraid to sweat, because you do ALLOT! Tabata is actual push-ups, sit ups and other "toning" things that firm up those muscles.)

So, to continue with my appointment this morning... I walk into Dr. G's office this morning and after the normal checks, I get on the scale... I've dropped 5 lbs since the last appointment. I'm so excited. It is OFFICIAL I have lost an amazing 51 pounds! I've only got a very small 16 pounds to go before I am at my first realistic goal that I set, and actually Dr. G thinks this would be a great goal for me to stay and maintain at. However, I am thinking that I will try to go lower... I want to be like BG. She is my mentor and inspiration! :-)  And to celebrate this wondrous occasion, I have decided to treat myself to a massage... It's scheduled, Monday at 4 PM... ahhhhh, I can almost feel it already.

So there you have it... It is OFFICIAL... I am a horrible blogger, but I am a great bandster... Eileen & Fillene and I are happy together in Onderland!!!

I'm eating Chinese!

Well... at least I was tonight. Dinner tonight was, for me, a 1/4 of a normal "to go" container of Chicken, shrimp & broccoli in Garlic sauce.... Oh it was so good!!! And now I have Lunch & quite possibly dinner tomorrow too! :-) I've heard that some people have problems getting the broccoli down because it has a tendency to be stringy. I didn't have any problems tonight. Anyone out there have problems with broccoli.

DH just loves Chinese food and we used to frequent the local buffet quite often up until January 12th this year. No more buffets for me! Unless I can get a 1 plate deal that is. Went to Old country Buffet for father's day with Dad & the family (His choice) and I asked if they honored Bariatric patients lesser quantities deals? I got the answer of "No, We used to, but corporate said we couldn't any longer, Then we continued to do it and they told us if we did they would punish us. so we had to stop." Give me an effing break OCB. You'd rather lose 2 or 3 peoples business all together rather than give 1 a discount and still get full price for the others in the party!!!? WTF?

OK, so today after realizing that I wasn't so sore anymore decided that I will try ZUMBA tomorrow at the gym before I head to chorus rehearsal. So I'll tell you which class I think I am going to like more or even what the differences are. I really really want to go back to Tabata on Thursday so I hope not to be as sore as I was Saturday!

That's about it for today! I'll try to remember to blog again after ZUMBA!

Is it Hot enough for you???

Yeah, how many times did you hear that this week if you live in the Northeast? I spent my days at work in air conditioning, and my afternoons/evenings in a friends pool. there was not a day that was below 95 degrees in North Central PA this week. AND Humidity? OMG... You walk outside and the water just drips off you... Til Friday that is, when it stormed all evening/night. However, after the storms, even tho it was still in the upper 80's for temps at least it was NOT humid so it was so totally bearable! I love the summer weather and what we have had yesterday and today is exactly what the Dr ordered for me to get my butt back into gear. That and I just wanted to check in now and see what everyone was up to? And get some bandster love.

Thursday I went to the gym and tried a class that my Dr had recommended I get into... not necessarily the exact one but he did tell me to get into a cardio class or 2... Remember? Well, I did it I signed up for and started taking Tabata. Oh My Good God in Heaven! Has any of you ever taken a class called Tabata? I must admit, I really really, liked the class, but I honestly can say that I DO NOT like the sore muscles I have had for 3 days since! I wanted to get into a ZUMBA class yesterday and could barely even got out of bed let alone go to the gym and exercise... So today, I am feeling better and my DH decides that we really need to "repair" our front stoop/porch. Now, let me just tell you... It is a solid CONCRETE porch. It's not that big, Thank God in Heaven, But the corners are (were) wearing away and  there were some "pot marks" in it. So he thinks that we are going to go buy some lumber and build a "box" over it and then extend the "box" out and make a little actual porch out of it... I say "are you kidding me?" I call my dad who BTW, lives less than 2 miles away and he agrees with me... just mix up some concrete and put up some forms, build the corners back up and put a light coating over the top to fill the pot marks... That is how I spent my Sunday afternoon... mixing concrete and using a trowel to smooth it out and make it look nice. I really would have rather been up in my friends pool again. But that DIY project is done. And I have another "DIY" feather in my cap... so to speak. :-)

I will go to the gym again this week, I think I might go on Tuesday tho and get a Zumba class in before going on Thursday to another Tabata... Hopefully, I won't be as sore next weekend. Friday, I plan to drive the 5 hour drive to Ohio to visit my sister, brother in law, niece and great niece, Makennah :-) the sweet little 1 year old that I just adore. It will be the last time I get to see them before they move to Georgia at the end of August. I hope to be able to eat well and lite all weekend. It will be a little more difficult without DH there to shove the food off onto. But I'll be back on Sunday... hopefully early enough to post before bed.

Things

I must have gotten my head screwed back on right this week now that I have had my ass chewed out by my Lapband Dr. (Not really) But the reason I say that is I got on the scale today and according to MY Scale I have lost 2 of the 3 pounds that was recorded as a gain on Monday when I was in the Dr.'s office. And All I can say right now is... THANK GOD!

How? Why? What? you ask? well I attribute it to starting and keeping a "Food Diary"! Seriously!!! How many of you write down EVERY SINGLE THING that you put into your mouth? I never did. Until Tuesday that is! I was so upset that I had a gain when I thought I was doing so well that I decided I needed to do SOMETHING!!! Tuesday morning I got up and decided that I was going to write down every single thing that I ate, and or drank from the time I got up to the time I went to bed. I started a document in Word on my computer at work. I write (type) the time that I start, the time I finish, what it was and how much of it, from oz of water or liquids, to tablespoons or teaspoons, cups or 1/2 cups. Whatever it is I write it down... I have to tell you... It is amazing what you eat when you are bored! (which if you keep up with me, you know I do not have the time to be bored, and am not a "just sit around" type of person). Writing it down really holds you accountable for sticking to your plan!  I have had people tell me to do this before and I just blew it off like it was nothing... Even the trainer at the gym I go to said to do it. It really DOES help keep you on track. I used to say, "yeah right, like I'm really going to write everything down" what about that piece of chocolate... or that mini candy bar. (I haven't had any but I'm just saying) If you are stuck on a plateau and haven't done or don't do this, I suggest you start. Keep a little note pad with you when you are out of the house just to have handy if you are shopping and need to stop and get something quick! You'll still be able to write it down!!!

Today is my great niece's FIRST birthday. She lives in Ohio, and I am going to miss the party they are having for her tomorrow. I'm sad about that, but, I may get to go out and see her in a couple weeks. This picture of her that was taken a few days ago, when they got her ears pierced. She doesn't normally purse her lips out like this, she is eating something here. "Makennah Adyson" is her name and I just think she is the most precious thing!

Earlier this week our one and only shower in the house decided to start malfunctioning. The water, instead of going up and out thru the shower head decided it wanted to come out thru the cracks in the handle and out the seal of the hose to the head, etc., etc. Well today, actually it was yesterday, I decided that I was going to have this little DIY project today. (Do It Yourself) I didn't want to have to wait another 2 days for DH to not be working to get a new one... SO, I got up this morning and went grocery shopping for the weekends' festivities that are going to happen this weekend. BUT, I went to Lowe's first. Got me a new shower hose/head fixture and well let me just say that I do not need to rely on DH or even Dear DAD any more! I have now successfully fixed a light fixture, remodeled an entire bedroom (with dads help on both of those) and switched out a shower head fixture. :-) This was so much easier than DH would have had it to be. I don't think I'll even tell him it only took me about 25 minutes to do ! :-P

Tomorrow I will be out of the house at 6:30 and off to Watkins Glen International Racetrack to work for the day with my chorus selling souvenirs for the track. It is the biggest fund raising thing that we do for the year. We stand in a huge tent and sell t-shirts and race paraphernalia while the IRL race people do their thing and boy do these people like to spend money. But, at the end of it all my chorus gets 10 % of whatever we sell and that helps us buy new music and costumes and coaching sessions etc. It's going to be a tough day for eating right but I already have my lunch packed, fruit, applesauce, protein bars. Lots of Water. I'll be ok! Sunday after church, I have a family picnic to attend first, then a chorus member is having a picnic at her lake home so, DH and I'll be swimming and boating till we are to tired to do anymore. Then I'll probably spend Monday (I'm off work) trying to catch up with the household chores. I hope to get into the gym Monday too!

Have a WONDERFUL and SAFE Fourth of July! :-)

6 Months Post Op

OK, I need to talk... I know I've been MIA lately, and I really do apologize... Jenny, yes, fun has been exactly what I have been having. From the time I got home from the beach till now I have been doing nothing but what I wanted to do. With the exception of going to work every day that is.  However, apparently now I need to get back to the work at hand in Bandland/Onederland.

Here I am... almost 6 months post op... had a surgeon appointment today and we had a real nice little discussion about my weight loss... Or should I say the lack there of, in the last 2 months since I had my last fill/unfill. It's not bad... I only gained 3 pounds in 2 1/2 months so I'm OK with that. BUT, when I am within 25 pounds of my initial "Happy" goal, it really kinda hurt to hear Dr. G. say... "What do you think you are doing wrong?" ...All I could say was "I dunno?"

Turns out I am NOT doing ANYTHING wrong. I'm eating smaller meals, lots of protein in those meals, and I am going to the gym at least 3 times a week to do the toning and cardio... seems that he feels that I must be maintaining and gaining muscle mass. So again, No more fill for me today. Not yet he says. then he says get some cardio classes in when you are at the gym and we will see you in 4 weeks and see if you need a fill then... I mean can it really be possible that I am at my green spot with only 3 CC's in? Everyone I know that has a band has more than 3 in and they are still "getting there".

So now, I get to go to the gym on Wednesday and sign up for a cardio class or 2, woo hoo! If you really knew me, you would know how much I really hate exercising. treadmills, bikes OK. But please don't make me have to work for this! :-) I need my sisters in Bandland support here... encouraging words will be highly welcome.

MIA - Again!

So over 20 days ago I said I was done being busy and would be blogging more now. I really did say that didn't I? :-( I'm so sorry band people! My sweet band people! why does time fly so fast when you are having fun! I must apologize I will try to be better I promise.

Sunday Babbles

Another busy week it has been for me. It seems that the older I get the faster the time goes by so I apologize right now if it seems like I have been MIA alot lately. Anyway, the last concert of the season last night, is now behind me and there will be no real commitments that I must adhere to in that area for a few months. Summer is a time of rest and only fun practices for that area of my life. So I should be able to concentrate more on my eating habits and losing this extra 50 pounds that I still want to lose! I really, really want to be closer to goal by my brothers wedding in October. (he is the ONLY person in my family besides DH, that knows about my journey with Eileen {band}& Filene {port}) He and his fiance' have asked me to sing at the wedding and this also means that my 2 older sisters (along with many other family members that haven't seen me in a long time) will be here and I just want to surprise the crap out of them. I have always been the "fat little sister"! I am the youngest of 5 and what will they think when I am not over 200 lbs any more... Wait, I'm under 200 pounds NOW! :-)

I have 2 things happening tomorrow that I am anxiously awaiting. Number 1 is a appointment at a new Gym to start my 3 month free membership that I won at the "Race for a Cure". I am excited yet nervous to start going to a "normal" persons gym instead of the Hospital "Rehab" Gym where only cardiac or bariatric surgery patients can go. Number 2 is yet another appointment for a fill at the surgeons office. I am a little nervous about that as every time I have tried to get this 3rd fill I've ended up having it taken out because it was just to much.I want to get a little more restriction, but I don't want to have to end up going back in a few days because I can't get a normal food to go thru or stay down. I know it is all a learning process and I sometimes think that I pressure myself into thinking that something isn't going to go down. So it doesn't! AHHH the mental tricks one can play on oneself! There is a support group meeting tomorrow night as well so I may just have to talk to someone there about their fill experiences! I know what I do (or don't do) I just need to remember it all the time instead of only part of the time. How do you mentally get it? How do/did YOU remember to eat very small meals and chew till it's mush. And not to let the rapid eating of everyone else at the table pressure you into eating faster to "keep up" so they aren't waiting for you to finish?

I Cleaned out some of my old "fat" clothes this week. I gave (let borrow) a size 18 & a size 16 bathing suit some 2X sweatshirts and a size 18 scooter to a friend of mine. She is taking a vacation and needed some specific items for certain adventures. It felt good to be able to say you can have that but, ya know that "mental trick" I just mentioned... Well, as she was walking out my door with the clothes, I said, "Now don't get rid of them after the trip because I might need them back if I gain this weight back" Then, I turned around and thought to myself... What am I thinking? I have Eileen to help me now. I won't need those clothes back! But damn, I really, really like those bathing suits!!! :-)

Anyway I need to catch up on my blog reading... So I'll keep this short, (I can hear you all now... Yeah right I've heard that before). LOL. I just have one more question. And I think I've asked it before but, what can I say I'm a "dirty" blond. (More dirty than blond, but at this time I am more blond than dirty... hehehe) can someone please tell remind me what NSV stands for?

Scribbles of today

June 1st... WOW. I got home from our little mini vacation last night at about 10:30 pm. I did the normal stuff after getting home... unpacking etc. then crawled into bed at midnight! A late night for me, BUT today I am off work to get the laundry done and normal things that need to be done the day after vacation. DH went to work and I have been sitting here getting caught up on the e-mails and things that have been neglected since last Thursday.

An update... I did not tell my friend of my surgery. I decided that it wasn't needed to be a topic of discussion just yet. I had a grand time and didn't have any sliming or sticking episodes. I didn't get stuck at all and I really didn't have any eating issues. We were so busy and eating was a "back burner" thing for all of us (except my poor DH, that is) He is so used to eating and eating and eating whenever we go away, and I think he may have felt a little like an outcast when we didn't make the 20 sandwiches and didn't buy all the bags of chips and bottles of soda before heading to the beach. Instead, we made a ton of skinless broiled wings one night and put them in baggies in the cooler. We got a huge watermelon and cut it into bite size pieces and also put them in baggies in the cooler. We didn't buy all the chips and junk that we would normally pack but in place of them had low fat cheese chunks and string cheese. Oh and of course we had lots and lots of water. When we did go out for dinner, I chose salads... I had a chef salad, a taco salad, and a tuna salad plate. My only down fall was one night we went to "Coldstone Creamery" and OMG... I love ice cream, but I was good. I only got a small and I think my tastes must be changing a little, because ice cream is one of my biggest diet sabotaging foods. This time it was different, it was just OK to me. It wasn't the biggest deal. And I was happy with the small. Didn't want more, I was sweetly satisfied!

I did have a small problem last night at dinner on our way home butI know what I did! I THOUGHT I was hungrier than I was and I felt that I wasn't eating fast enough for everyone else. They were all almost done and I only had 1/3 of my plate gone so I started eating fast and didn't chew enough. Yup, I got a piece of chicken sausage stuck and had to go to the rest room to "Burp" (or from a lapbanders point of view) Slime it up. Got that done, and then finished my strawberries and said I was Full. I really was too. I just felt a little odd not being able to finish all my food. That again is a learning curve I am still driving on, taking the smaller portions and not the 3 or 4 spoonfuls!

Today has been a good day. I got on the scale this morning and have not gained any weight since I left for Maryland. I didn't lose any either but I am very happy I didn't gain! I will get back on the elliptical after almost a week off and I will be very careful what I am eating the rest of this week. I go back to the Dr's office on Monday the 7th for another try at a fill, (or not). Right now I am feeling good enough that I think the sweet spot may be mine. I will discuss it all with Dr G on Monday and see what he thinks our course of action should be from here. I can't wait to talk to him.

A few vacation notes...

Hi everyone... just a quick update while my friends are out taking kids to an outing... Yesterday and today have been absolutley amazing. When we got here yesterday my friend who hasn't seen me, other than pictures, in almost 2 full years, called me "SKINNY" imagine that... 192 lbs, and someone calls me skinny??? (WTF is wrong with that picture? eh!)  I just smiled at her and said "No, not skinny yet but going to be someday!" Remember that she has no clue that I have had lapband surgery. AND Add to the fact, that I don't think she has ever had a weight problem, or weighed over 145 in her entire life! Even at her most pregnant stage I think she MAY have weighed 140??? She makes me sick to think that at age 45 she can weigh 110 and tell me that she has put on weight! UGH!

DH and I had a discussion last night before going to bed and I MAY tell her about my journey before the weekend is over. Not sure yet. I love her and don't like that I am keeping this a secret from her. If she and I get a private girls moment tomorrow on the beach, I might, she may very well support me more than I think she might. We've supported each other in EVERYTHING we have ever done since college when we met... I just don't think I am totally ready to divulge my secret and find out yet. I almost did this morning but went and took a shower instead. Right now, this weekend, is primarily about her son graduating from high school on June 5 and then leaving for the Army on June 16th. It will be a very definite change in this household. Then the other son, graduates next year and doesn't have a clue what he wants to do after that. DH said to me in our conversation last night... "You 2 are as close as 2 women can get, when the time is right you will talk. If you're nit ready then don't say anything. Yoiu will know when the time is right for you to tell her." And ya know he is right... I want to tell her but am not really ready to answer all the questions I KNOW she will have. I will know when I am, and then I will tell her.

I need to focus on NOT gaining any weight while here... and the way all of THEM like to eat out, I may have a harder time than I expect to if I don't tell my story. Any advice anyone can give, would be so greatly appreciated!!! Ocean + Beach + Seafood (my favorite) + LOT'S of "All you can eat BUFFETS"... = a huge potential sabotage for my eating small meals... I will survive this and then I will prove, to myself mainly, that I can do it!  More later...

Have a super happy Memorial Day (my driving home day) if I don't get on here again before then...

Thanks

Well here I am, just so amazed in the support of you women! The support and compliments are just what I needed. I love the "stunning" comments and even tho' most of that "stunning goddess" in that picture was only stunning because of the stage make-up ( I swear I never wear that much make-up on a normal day). However, I MUST confess I loved hearing that I looked amazing... I am kinda cute 50 pounds lighter, now aren't I? I really need to say thank you to Eileen too! She has made me what I am today! With her help, I have become able to control my eating, and regain control of my health before it killed me like it did my mom! Bandlandia is trying at times but, without Eileen and her sister, Filene (my port) I would not be where I am today.

I also, want to thank you for your support on the 5K walk I did for my local "Race for the Cure". I ended up raising $280, finishing the race in 1 hour and 4 minutes and then I won a 3 month membership to a gym! This was a HUGE success for me. And the gym membership will get used 100% since my current membership expires at the end of this month.

I must tell you about my experiences today... I got up this morning feeling Eileen was very "tight", and knowing that I had an appointment to get my nails done and then I was participating in a "CJ Banks" in store fashion show, had me a little worried. I've never really woke up feeling tighter than any other time of the day but today was just different. I tried to eat something for breakfast, and could not get anything except my decaf coffee and vitamins down. I was praying this wasn't going to be a slime filled day.

I love CJ Banks and Lane Bryant. However, I haven't been shopping in either one in at least 6 months. I knew I was getting my band and didn't want to spend that kind of money on items that I wouldn't be wearing very long. When I stopped going there I was wearing a 22/24 top and 18 pants. Those old clothes of mine are seriously becoming way to big all to quickly now. I will soon, be getting them packed up and shipped off to the Salvation Army or Good Will store. I have been very happily pulling out the old smaller sizes, ya know the 18/20's and the 14/16's, the ones you save for that "when I lose weight" time, and I am very happy getting back into them and finding that they are even getting big on me. Well Today I had this fashion show gig that I was supposed to model in and I did. I went in earlier this week and picked out 2 outfits in my size and a few other things that I really liked. After the show the models were given a 30% discount on any purchases EVEN on the things that were $9.99 or 50% off already. I brought home a pair of size14 purple jean Capris, that are a good fit on me now, A size 14 jean scooter, that is loose but will shrink when I wash and dry it and I'll be able to wear them for a while because the weight in my tummy/hips isn't coming off like it did on my shoulders and chest. Now, I used to wear the 2X in tops there... I bought the smallest size they have! They run X, 1X, 2X, 3X. I got 5 summer shirts in size X. I'm so excited!  I tried on several other scooters and shorts in size 14 but I didn't even have to unbutton or unzip them to pull them on so I didn't even want to buy them. I'll just keep digging into my old skinny clothes for the rest of my summer outfitting. Next time I am a model in a "store fashion show" it will undoubtedly be for Christopher & Banks instead of the "BIG" sister store CJ Banks. :-)

Came home Feeling great about my life and made myself a HUGE salad, with lettuce, red & yellow peppers, tomatoes, and some salmon on top with low fat reduced calorie mayo and vinegar as the dressing... Yummy! it went down without a problem and I think I am good. Eileen was just being grumpy this morning. 

OK, I'm rambling now... I hope to post again before I leave this week, to head to Maryland. Ocean City is the place DH and I honeymooned almost 7 years ago. We plan on visiting OC, while we visit friends for the Memorial Day holiday... I haven't seen her in a year and 1/2 and she has NO IDEA I have had this surgery. It's a 6 hour drive for me one way, but our friends are worth every minute. I cannot wait to see the looks on their faces when they see me... Uh, and in a bathing suit no less! Also, I'm thinking that I will have to be very mindful of what I will be eating while there. I love seafood and haven't had anything except tuna, salmon or other fish since surgery January 12th. I'm wondering how shrimp scallops, lobster or crab will go down???

As Promised

I promised an updated "formal" contest photo back when I posted the results of our weekend. Well as promised we received the formal picture in the mail this week and here we are...  I love these girls so much! We have such a great time together with minimal disagreements.And as most of us know that is really hard for alot of women to do!!!

Update

Hi folks, just a short update of my status today! I am eating again! I am working out too so I guess having the .25 out of the band on Thursday was not as bad as I feel it is. I do still feel crappy about it but maybe on 6/7 when I go back and have that fill again, he can put the .25 in and I will be able to KEEP it in because I have lost enough weight to adjust better to having the added restriction.:-)

This weekend is certainly not going to feel like a weekend to me and I really am glad that I have a few minutes now to write cuz I won't have any more till after tomorrow night.Today started at 6 am... Yes 6 am on a day that I should have been able to sleep in... Oh wait I get up at 5 normally so I DID SLEEP IN...HA! had to be at the driver license photo center by 8:30 when they opened so I could get my photo updated and a new lice for the next 4 years. Done... This place is 45 minutes south of my house... So I Fly (well I kept all 4 wheels on the road, but barely) home, change my clothes into one of my chorus's "sing out" outfits. Drive to a "local" Park that is having a big celebration for the closing of the "Sr.Games" and the opening of their new miniature golf course. This place is 30 minutes NORTH of my house. Then I need to pack my clothes to sing with the other chorus too. Chorus #1 sings at 1, Chorus #2 sings at 2. then I have practice for a duet that I am doing in a concert on June 5th. All that is done for today! Oh and I had to eat the right stuff during all this too.

Now I am home and trying to relax and get some needed sleep as I am walking the 5K Race for a Cure in our area tomorrow! I will be walking in honor of 10 of my family and friends that have or are surviving and in Memory of 2 that have lost the fight. If you care to make a donation and want me to add a name to my list that I will have pinned on my back you can make a comment and give me the name you want me to add and to make a donation I think you can follow my link below. If it doesn't work Please cut and paste it into your browser. And Thank you, So Very Much,  if you do!!! And also, Please don't put anything about being a BAND BUDDY! There are only 7 people in my life that know I have done this and I want to keep it that way!!! Thanks!!!

http://race.twintierskomen.org/site/TR/Race/General?px=1011546&pg=personal&fr_id=1030

I feel like a failure tonight

Ok, I know I shouldn't but I DO!!! Is this a normal emotion as you lose weight?

I have been having quite a time since the 3rd fill on Monday 5/3. Not getting much at all to stay down. slimming almost daily, Mother's day dinner... HA, What a farce that was... I am so scared to death that my trip to Ocean City for Memorial day will be a total disaster (visiting friends that have no idea what I have done) on Tuesday this week I broke down and called my surgeon. He wasn't in the office, but his nurse said... "You really need to come in!" So I set the appointment for today at 3. They even "double booked" me to make sure I got there.

What is this??? I have an appointment and now it seems like a weight has been lifted... I can keep things down again... Granted it is nothing but liquids or mush before noon but after lunches of puddings and or applesauce, then I could get a Good (SMALL, but good) protein filled dinner in and it stayed. So now I'm thinking to myself... (With a little prodding and initiation from DH) "Is this all just in my head?" Is it all a psychological thing? I know that I am going to get into see the good Dr and now I feel ok? I'm not stressed that nothing is going to stay down so I eat slower and it goes down and stays just fine? I mean the only real problem I see that I have right now is, it takes a really long time to eat and I sorta feel like I have a lump in my throat all the time, So... WTF is wrong with me????? Now today comes and all day long I question myself. Do I cancel the appointment this afternoon? No... go talk to the nurses and see what they say...I get there and his personal nurse comes out to me and says "We're running really behind, so it might be a while. (I'm also thinking that they double booked me so it should be easy to back out and reschedule if I think I need to, Right?) WRONG! The nurses are wonderfully THIN women and don't know what to say... They go talk to the Dr. He WANTS to see me.  UGH!

OK, maybe I DO need to get just a TINY bit out.  My appointment was at 3. I'm in by 3:15 (I'm thinking, this is your idea of REALLY behind) I get weighed (down 10 lbs from 5/3, 192 :-) Officially 50 lbs gone now... WHOOHOO), BP = 112/70, checked the results from the blood work I had done... Potassium is a little low but all else is great, then the Dr comes in... and says... "What's going on? Talk to me." So I told him exactly what I had already told the nurses. then he says, "well, how much did I put in? Looks at my chart and says... WOW... only .25cc? Well, ok maybe we just need to take a TINY bit back out" I lay back on the table and he starts. we do the routine. pull some out, take a drink, put some in, take a drink... blah, blah, blah... So much for double booking! AND What about the "He's running really behind"? After all is said and done he ended up taking the .25 back out that he put in on 5/3. I'm really disappointed now and feel stupid. So I told him! then he asks. Do you attend the support group... yes, Ok, you are not stupid, DON'T feel that way... Sorry Doc but I do. Then he starts telling me AGAIN, protein first, cut your meds. Only a Cup or less of food at each meal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I know... But why is it that I can't keep that .25 in here. It's the 2nd time that I've had to have it back out now. Then he says... It's all a bit of a game till we get to the right amount for you. Take the next 3 weeks and see how you do at the beach, how much more you lose... You are probably just very close to or at your sweet spot, Come back on 6/7 and we'll try again! Then he smiles, repeats to me not to feel stupid, shakes my hand and says, "your gonna be fine!". I tell him thank you and I leave.

I Really don't get it... I thought for sure I was turning a corner and that I was going to be able to do it this time. Now tonight I ate a small piece of baked fish and a 4 oz. applesauce cup. All went down with out a problem. I feel very full, but I still have the "lump in my throat" feeling... GOOD GAWD!

I honestly feel like such a failure tonight!

Happy Mother's Day!

If roses grow in Heaven, Lord pick a bunch for me, place them in my mother's arm's and tell her they're from me. Tell her that I Love her when she turns to smile, place a kiss upon her cheek and hold her for a while. Because remembering her is easy, I do it everyday, There's an ache within my heart that never goes away.. 

My Mom... 6/18/1932 - 10/23/2005

Happy Mother's Day Mom.. I love and miss you. Till I see you again......

I don't think it is supposed to be like this!

I just wanted to ask... you fellow bandsters that have had more than 3 or 4 fills or are at your sweet spot... How do you know? and did you have trouble every time you got a fill? Did you go thru the liquids, mush, soft foods every time you got a fill?

I ask because as I posted on Monday I got my 3rd fill of .25 cc's. Dr G said I may be close to my sweet spot but wasn't sure. I only have 3.25 in a 10 - 12 cc band. BUT, I was on liquid Monday evening and all day yesterday, today a was supposed to ease into mush. I actually had five small (nickle-quarter size) pieces of chicken breast that my DH fixed for dinner last night. This morning I got my vitamins and other meds down fine and then went to work. On my way to work I started feeling like I had a vitamin stuck or at the very least just sitting in my pouch. Then, at work, they had decided to have a birthday celebration for me since I was off on my Birthday... with BAGELS and donuts... What used to be my favorite breakfast food. Give me a nice bagel sandwich with egg, cheese and lots of bacon and I USED to be golden!

Since I was banded on 1/12/2010, I have NOT had much in the bread category. I've had a few soft tacos, a piece of crispy toast now and then, a 1/2 a flat bread sandwich from subway, and I have even had 1/2 a bagel that was really toasted BUT... NEVER this close to a fill. So I'm thinking this morning, I know the boss knows about the surgery but no one else. I can decline and look like an ungrateful boob. naw, can't do that. I can share a bagel with someone. toast it really good and then just eat it really really slow. All the talking in the world did not prepare me for this! I tried. I got about 1/4 of 1/2 of the bagel in, and even tho it was as toasted an crispy as a pretzel stick. I just laid there in my pouch and didn't go anywhere until I decided I couldn't stand it anymore. Up and to the bathroom I go. Yeah, you guessed it. I slimed it all back up! And I couldn't even try to eat any more. Why is it that once you have a PB there are always at least 3 or 4 more to come! and it doesn't matter what it is that you try to drink just to keep yourself hydrated and nourished seems to come back up? I am so afraid that I am going to slime one to many times and slip my band.

This evening when I got home I tried to eat some mashed potatoes, nope... came back up. Now, I am carefully sipping really hot decaffeinated white tea. Hoping and praying that this lump in my throat goes away... I'm hungry, my stomach is growling... I Need HELP!!! I have a family Mother's Day Chicken Bar-B-Q on Sunday and I can't NOT eat there. I really don't want to make the excuse that I am sick and not go either. I need some advice, did you go thru this? Who else thinks I might be at my sweet spot? I know in my heart that this is not good... I'm dropping a pound (or 2) a day and I know that is just NOT right! At this rate, I'll be at goal in record time.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Yes it is my birthday... I am 47 today, so they tell me! :-)I do not feel it. But then they also tell me that age is just a number! I took today off work to relax and do what I wanted to do...

So far, none of what I have done has been for ME... I should have been able to sleep in today right? NOT. Was up and at 'em at 6:30 (ok so that IS sleeping in for me since I normally get up at 5 am) But I had to run our quartet video and award over to my brothers house so he could see them before I take it to chorus rehearsal tonight, and pass them off to the other quartet members to show their families. Then I came home and realized I needed to renew my driver's license. Yeah, since today is the day, it expires tomorrow and then I am SOL if I don't have it. With my luck I would get pulled over. Then I took DH to pick his car up from the garage. Then... well, then I got to come home and relax a little bit.

Now I am writing this post and next I will go get blood drawn from the Dr order that I have to check my vitamin levels. This was given to me yesterday when I got my 3rd fill. I did get .25 cc's added to Eileen at 4:30 pm yesterday, and unfortunately,  I have been unable to eat anything solid since. Dr G. suggests liquids for 24 hours after a fill then you move in to mush again for 24 hours and then back to regular food. I just don't remember it feeling this way after the first fill. He did tell me that he believes that I am very close to my sweet spot because I could not take any more than the .25 cc. He said he felt that I was very close because of my inability to drink ANYTHING without difficulty, if he put more than that in. So I said stay at the .25 for now and I will go slowly with my transition into foods again! So then my dad calls me this morning and says "Happy birthday sweetheart, let's go to lunch... where do you want to go for your birthday?" UGH! I laugh, say thank-you so much but since I am really trying to lose weight... what I really would appreciate so much more is either a payment on my gym membership, OR help my brother build my 4 flowerbeds (2 in front and 2 on either side) around my house that I want and he (brother) said he would do for my birthday. And believe it or not he said OK! I am so happy. As he has NO CLUE that I have adopted Eileen, this is the best thing I could have received from him! Whew, didn't have to lie and tell him I was sick so he wouldn't make me go out to eat!

Anyway I thought I would share another photo or two... here is a candid shot of my quartet after the competition this last weekend (the formal one will come to us in the mail in a couple weeks) and shots of the award and pins we won. I have no idea what the significance of the swan on the Cygnet Award is. But I plan on asking the donator at some point. I didn't tell you a funny weight loss story of Contest day... We have the special "sparkly" outfits that he wear on stage for all of the 7 minutes to sing 2 songs! Well, my top is a size 22/24. I have lost 40 pounds since the last time I wore that top at last years contest. and didn't even think about alterations. I guess I should have, because I put it on and well... Houston, we Have a PROBLEM! It was way, way to big on me! I had to take the strings on the inside that you "hang" it with and tie them to my bra straps in order to hold the under piece (it's a tank with jacket 2 piece set) in place not allowing it to fall down in the front exposing my bra, the girls and almost the top of my stomach! wouldn't that have been a site to see?! HA HA HA

Have a great day everyone...I think I am going to watch the Young and the Restless, and then maybe go get this blood drawn, then come home. As soon as I can I really will do what I want to do on my birthday! :-)

Contest Results

Hi everyone... I am so sorry I didn't post this sooner but my weekend was just so amazingly busy that I have hardly had time to think about the blog... Anyway here are my contest results that I am sure you are all waiting for with baited breath!

My quartet was amazing... We placed 13th and received the "Cygnet Award" which is the Most Improved from the last contest. We increased our score by 34 points which is ALOT! Another quartet in my chorus placed 2nd and qualified to go on to international contest in November. AND our Chorus... Placed 4th, qualified for international in November AND Won the "Rising Star" Award, which means we improved our presentation score more than any other chorus! So needless to say everyone in my chorus is flying high this week.

I had a very exciting and fun filled weekend and even lost a pound doing it! Now I am off to get my 3rd Fill this afternoon. I hope to come home this afternoon with good results from that appointment... I may report more later, but I have a private meeting with a local new bandster, she was banded on 4/14 and is full of questions, and then our Support group meeting is tonight.

Tomorrow is my birthday and I plan on having another very happy celebration. I took the day off just to have a day to do what ever the heck I wanted to do!!!

Contest Day

Here I am. It is my quartet contest day! Nervous??? OMG can't think about it at all right now... I truley feel that we will do well. It's just those contest jitters that eventhe best of the best get. My roomie and I are relaxing and waiting for the other 2 parts of our quartet to be ready to go to brunch. We are heading to the Bob Evans down the street for a 10:30 Meal... I've had my hot hot tea this morning in order to take my meds with. everything is fine so far. the adrenaline will be flying very high after that so I won't need anything except maybe a protein bar or some peanuts to hold me over till Dinner... Which btw, won't be till AFTER the contest is over and the winners get their medals and then we sit thru 2 hours of evaluations done by the judges that have just heard us! SSSOOO... I eat now... BIG, then we have to be at what they call quartet "breifing" at 3, the contest starts at 5... We are on stage at aprox. 5:35. The last quartet sings at aprox 7:30. Then they announce the winners and then we have the evaluations... I'm thinking I need to eat as big as I can now, because after all is said and done...It is very probable that there will be no "meal" for me again until... oh maybe 10:30ish if Im lucky.

I'm praying that "Voice Message" does well this evening... Keep me in your thoughts, if you would. <3

Have to Brag a little!

Just a little tho... Had 3 Dr appointments today so I didn't work. Eye Dr first... I guess I have officially gotten "OLD" even tho my birthday isn't until Next Tuesday. I have become one of the "progressive lens" wearers! UGH!

Then LB Surgeon appointment was to be for a 3rd fill however he suggested that as long as I am going away this weekend and being out of town that Maybe I should wait another week. He didn't think I would need the "stress" of trying to be extra careful getting used to a tighter band again! So no 3rd fill til NEXT week... AFTER Contest... Whew, I Love Dr G.

Then my PCP Appointment. and the thing I want to brag about... I am now, officially 40 lbs and 1 of 3 BP meds gone! Now to get rid of the other 2 meds and I will be happy! Thanks for all your support Dear friends!

Thanks

Thank you!!!  For all the good luck wishes. I thought this morning that I should post a picture of my quartet for you to see, sssooo... Here we are in all our stage make up glory! We call ourselves "Voice Message". This was taken at last years contest on May 1st 2009. I am the one on top. One of my very best friends (More like a sister from another mother) is the lady to my left as you look at the picture. (She has been by my side thru this journey right from the time I said I was thinking about getting my own band) She is the one that worried and wondered for the 2 hour surgery with my DH, and then texted me all night in the hospital to make sure I was "doing ok"!!!  The girl on the bottom is the mother of the girl to my right (as you look at the picture) and they DO NOT know what I have had done!

Tomorrow, I'm not working... I have 3 Dr appointments! I have to go see my optometrist to see if my glasses can be changed from "readers" to Bi or even tri-focals, (I really am not that old am I?) Then, I have my GP appointment to check the BP levels and weight and, well you know all that "6 month check-up" stuff. AND then I have an appointment for my 3rd Fill! YIKES!

I am not so sure I will have him put anything in. I'm still losing little by little each day as long as I watch what I eat and don't go over board! (Could I possibly be at my sweet spot already with only 3 CC's in a "Standard" band?) AND, I leave for contest on Thursday night, will be gone till Sunday, and do I want to be too tight and not be able to "eat normally" while in the midst of 100's of Barber-shopper friends that do not know I have had this done? Do I want to risk the PB'g and the problems I had with the last fill, because I had to much and couldn't eat anything for 3 days? What do you think Followers? I value your opinions please offer your advice!

Now, I'm off to go for a walk. It's a rainy day in Northern PA right now but I am not going to melt and I have this nervous, pre-fill, pre-contest adrenaline that I need to burn off. I will turn on my Ipod and try to lose myself in my music for an hour or two!

I have done it

I hate the fact that I seem to be so busy that I don't have the time to keep up with things on here... Next week tho, hopefully, I will slow down a bit and be able to catch up! You see... Next Friday night is a competition for my quartet that we have been practicing 2 nights a week and Saturday mornings for. The contest continues on Saturday for the chorus. SO, after contest I won't have to practice every night of the week and will be allowed to concentrate on MY life not the life of my chorus and quartet. Whew. As much as I love singing and my music, It does become very, very time consuming when contest time is here!

Anyway I am happy to say that I am doing well with my eating and all that is involved with this life I lead now. AND being that My birthday is in a short week and 1/2 I have talked my DH into paying for my membership to the Gym that I want to go to for more "training". I have chosen the hospital gym where I had my surgery because in order to get a reduced rate AND a personal trainer ($25/mo) you have to have some kind of surgery and well Eileen & I qualify for that don't we? So anyway, DH said that if it was what I really wanted he would pay for me to go. I wasn't saying no to that!

Today to start preparing for the Race for a cure in which I will be doing the 5k walk part on May 16th. I went to a park we have here and did almost 2 1/2 miles with a friend. And I am happy to say that I am not even sore... YET! :-)

Just in case I don't get on here again till after contest... wish me, my quartet, and my chorus good luck! we are all really hoping to do well this year!

BOOB's

DAMMIT  I find out what all the Chicago posts are about (I was secretly hoping that we were planning a book signing for BG and her new adventure) I joined (follow) the blog... Even got the logo (LOVE IT btw!) I even posted the link to the boob blog ON MY blog, And now, I have to say... In all honestly I can't go! (I'm seriously crying here!!!) I want to go! I want to be there. But you see I have this little thing called a wedding anniversary that week and uhm, I don't think the DH is going to say "yes, go... have a ball" to me (not that he tells me what I can/can't do) but somehow, leaving our annual BEACH vacation and anniversary celebration for a side trip to Chicago, just doesn't seem like the right thing to do.

God, how I want to go, I really want to be there!!!! How can I make this happen? Face it, Stupid sdh5463 you can't... at least THIS TIME you can't! If I read it all right and the next one is in April 2011. I won't be able to make that one either... I'll be on the singing competition stage again. Dammit! Dammit... DAMMIT!!!

Can I still Order a shirt to support the function and pray that I will be able to make one after April?

Chicago???

I've got to catch up I swear... I've been sitting here reading and reading and all of a sudden I realize that EVERYONE is posting something or another about going to Chicago... Now, I know I have been a little out of touch for a few days but that's no reason to plan a trip together WITHOUT ME!!! (And Eileen of course) :-( Wha'd I do to you all? that pissed you off so bad? JK

Can someone PLEASE help a fellow bandster out here and let me know what is going on? why is everyone going to Chicago? And when? I wanna come................ If I can?

Happy Birthday To DH

I just have a moment to make a quick post! And About all the time I have is to say...

"Happy Birthday to my Love, my DH!"  I Love You! Even tho I may piss and moan and bitch and complain about you! I said I do and I meant it with every bit of my being!

Happy Birthday Honey! <3

Recipe

I just wanted to share a recipe that I just got done making and eating w/DH for dinner tonight.  I've been wanting to have a nice salmon dish for a few days now and I think I just found a very good one.

Salmon with Dill Sauce Recipe


2 Salmon filets about 2 lbs
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
1 medium onion, sliced
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 1/2 cups Chicken Broth or 1 1/2 cups water and two Chicken Bouillon cubes  (I used the low sodium chicken broth, I mean we have it for our clear liquids stage so why not? Plus it's lower in sodium than bouillion cubes)

Remove skin from the Salmon filets. In a large skillet add the butter, onion, salt, lemon juice, and chicken broth. Bring to a boil. Add the salmon filets and cook covered for 10 minutes or until fish flakes easily. Remove filets to serving platter and pour dill sauce over the salmon filets and serve.

Dill Sauce:

1 1/2 cups Milk
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons chopped onion
2 teapoons dill weed
2 tablespoons flour
1 teaspoon lemon juice
In a small sauce pan, cook the onion in the butter till tender. Stir in the flour, Dill and lemon juice. Add the Milk and stir till the sauce thickens, stiring constantly.

Serves four. (Or 1 LB'er and one very healthy and hearty appetited husband!) :-)

I served this with Brussel Sprouts that were tossed in olive oil, sprinkled with sea salt and pepper and baked at 400 degrees till they were just browning.  I have NO Idea how many calories it is if you are a calorie counter (I'm not) But it is really good... lots of protien and flavor. Even Eileen liked it as long as I chewed well and took small bites!  If you happen to try it let me know what you think! Or if you have any other salmon recipes that you want to share PLEASE DO!!!

Where does the time go?

I wanted to post on here long before today but have just been so damn busy it is pathetic...

Eileen and I are doing well... only had one sliming episode this week and all in all have been keep things down and to a good minimal meal balance. Have gained 2 of the pounds back that I lost when the restriction was to tight but I think that alot of that was because I was NOT getting enough water in and we all know what that does to you. Yeah I believe that I was dehydrated and may still be due to the fact that I take a "water" pill as one of my BP meds.

Still can't eat before like 10 or 11 am and that is killing me! By that time I am usually so hungry that I eat way to fast, whatever it is that I am eating till it gets to the point that I think it is going to get stuck then I realize what I have done and stop. usually 3 maybe 4 bites into the meal.  I have been doing better this week. with the water. still not getting my 80 oz in like I was before but I'm thinking that if I can manage at least 40 during the day I will be able to get back up to the huge amounts. Or maybe on the 26th when I go to see my PCP she will start taking me off the BP meds and (at the very least) get rid of the water pill.

Anyway yesterday As one of my mini goal "rewards" I went and had a facial and got my hair colored back to my natural color, which is light to medium brown, and here is what I looked like after that! At the facial, I could have spent well over $200 but I will save that for another goal reward.  Please excuse my arm in the post however I am not real good at taking the self portrait yet!

Have a Happy relaxing Sunday! I hope to post on here a little more often, but right now I am off to the store to buy some things for a salmon dish that I want to make for dinner tonight with rice and brussel sprouts!

YES, It Was!

A very Happy Easter Indeed. I ate, I enjoyed Family, I participated in an Egg hunt! And the best of all... There was no PB'ing! YAHOOO!!! Real Food, Not sticking to liquids and No explaining why I was in the bathroom so much to a family that has no idea about my LB! Everyone even made comments about my 40 pound loss and that I look great! Even my Dad, This picture is he and I (greatest man in the world to me) Told me how proud he was of me! Since my mother passed away due to complications of Morbid Obesity, His statement today means more than any of you can ever imagine. You can't really see the weight loss in this picture as I still have a pudgie face BUT... you can see it more in this picture as I don't have the double (and Triple) chins any longer!!!

It Has been a Very Happy Easter indeed!  :-)

Happy Easter!

I just wanted to say that before I go off to family's house for what may be a very long and trying day!

I thought Eileen & I had come to an agreement the other day but it seems that yesterday she decided to shut communication down on me again. WTF? I got thru my morning breakfast of hot Tea and then a slice of toast. And got all the meds down. But then, for some reason I felt a lump in my throat. Didn't bother me except when I was trying to drink my water. I had to make Macaroni and Cheese by my father's request so I did that yesterday and yes I munched on the cheese as I was cutting it up and yeah you guessed it... Even tho I sucked on that cheese till it was mush, I slimed twice trying to have some chicken for lunch. Then, I got some soup down for dinner.

Today I woke up with what felt like a "swollen" throat. But I have gotten my coffee and meds down. No sliming yet. Also No breakfast yet. My throat isn't sore, it just feels "swollen" inside. Like I have a very tiny hole there to get things down thru. I want to have some eggs before heading out for the day but am so afraid to even try... And Then What am I going to say when I can't eat anything for Dinner this afternoon???

All I can do is Pray to God for a good day ahead... PLEASE, let me get thru this day without a slime!

Oh And HAPPY EASTER To all my Blog/bander buddies! Have a great Day!

Turning a Corner

I believe that Eileen and I have come to an understanding. FINALLY!!! I think!

I was so afraid that I was about to have more "unfill" until yesterday when I was able to eat a 1/2 slice of very toasted pumpernickel toast for breakfast... A 1 cup bowl of Healthy Choice vegetable soup, and a snack pack applesauce for lunch, AND a 1/2 sausage patty with peppers & onions for dinner, (no roll of course) and I am very, VERY happy to say that they all stayed down. nothing got stuck. I had NO sliming. AND I was very full after eating each meal!

I think my nurse that I spoke to when I called about getting another little amount out gave me the right idea for me. For my first few days after a fill, in order to eat (after the 24-48 hours of liquids) I'm going to have to have some very hot liquids to drink first. You see, as she explained to me on Thursday, hot restricts (or has the shrinking effect on) the saline in the band. Cold expands it (or can make it feel much tighter, therefore not allowing things to go thru). So I did an experiment... When I was about to eat anything, I would either eat a fruit Popsicle first or drink a cup of very hot tea/coffee/cider. And ya know what? When I had the popsicle... I could not eat without choking or feeling stuck, sliming and PB'ing, being in pain and/or throwing up. When I drank the hot liquid, I was fine... the soup??? I drank 2 or 3 sips of the broth first. And Of course the veggies were really mushy so that probably helped too

If this is the only way I can get 3 meals a day in and get them to stay in without any problems, then I guess we'll chalk it up to experience and another learning curve in my journey... Yeah, I now understand that Eileen really is in control right now and she isn't going to let me fail!

Just Not Sure, I'm afraid...

...that Eileen doesn't like me much right now! She seems so finicky. Mornings with my hot, hot coffee everything goes thru her fine. Lunches, not working so well right now... Dinners? small and nutritious are great! Then a big mug of hot hot tea before bed seems to just do the trick... I really am not sure if I am still a little to tight or if it's just WHAT I am eating.

You see I LOVE tomatoes, diced, stewed, sauce, juice, you name it, I really like my tomatoes. But it seems that ever since last Saturday night when I couldn't keep the wings down, I have a real problem with anything spicy or acidic. Never happened before my 2nd fill. I could eat anything I wanted within reason and portion size.

Yesterday I had left over homemade marinara sauce on some angel hair for lunch. Took one or 2 bites and found myself literally running to the bathroom to get rid of it. I put it back in the lunch bag and pulled out the vanilla pudding. That went down but not easily. And then I gave up! I went back to my desk and sipped on water. AND then to top it all off ended up being sick to my stomach all afternoon and evening. Couldn't get home for a good meal before I had to be at a choral rehearsal so I stopped at Mickey D's. (I know, I know, shoot me NOW, but I had to get SOMETHING in me!) I was good, I had the $3 fillet and fry deal. Ate ONLY the fillet, NO bread, and about 1/2 the fries. and it was fine! They went down, stayed down and my stomach felt almost, I said ALMOST 100% better. So I'm thinking ok... I am getting back on track here...

...NOT!!! I got up today, hot coffee vitamins, meds, and off to work with a piece of peanut butter covered flat-bread toast in hand. (Did I mention that I am not, nor have I ever been, much of a breakfast eater) No problem, get to work and I really wanted some juice... Tomato Juice. Got it, poured it... ya know those little 4 oz cans. Took a couple sips and BAMM, I'm off to the bathroom and sliming it up! Man this really sucks!

I've been sick to my stomach and very careful of everything I have tried to put in my mouth/stomach all day... I'm thinking I need more "Unfill". I am afraid to have much more taken out because then won't it be to much out and I won't have any restriction again?  But wait I got home tonight and I actually ate AND Kept down 3 of the wings that were left over from Saturday. DH was saving them for me cuz he knows how much I love them! Maybe? Could it be? I've turned the corner and Eileen likes me again? Maybe, I just need to "work up" to my tomatoes!

OK, now it's... Unfill #1

Yes that's right I had to have an "unfill"! Well, I didn't HAVE to but I feel better now that I can get my water down without waiting for it to not feel like it was sitting in my throat for a minute before I could take another drink!


Thursday when I had my fill... It seemed like I might be tighter than I thought I should be BUT ya know this is all a learning experience, so I thought to myself... "I can deal with this, I can't have anything but liquids for 24 hours anyway". It was the next day when I couldn't get any of my BP or even the tiniest HRT pill down without feeling like it was stuck, or throwing it back up that scared me. I e-mailed a few of you to see what you thought and out of the answers, I got 2 wait and see's and 1 go back and get some out. I chose to wait and see... Shoulda listened to the go back and get some out! I had a concert to do on Saturday and time just wasn't on my side this weekend! I was ok Thursday night and Friday (didn't have anything to eat, just drinking) but then ate a little bit of baked potato and 3 cooked baby carrots for dinner Friday. I even managed a bite of steak that my friend made for me. It went down... slowly but it went, AND it stayed down with no urges to come back up! So I was thinking "I'm Good!"  WRONG... Saturday was a whole different story! I got up and could NOT get any of my meds down. I tried to eat and it came back up. I finally decided that any type of protein or vitamins was better than nothing at all. So I started drinking vitamin water. It really seemed to be the only thing going down and staying down. Went to the concert (It was great I might add) and then the chorus went out after wards for the normal after concert party!

I LOVE wings, and this place we always go, has the best in the area. DH & I decided to try sharing some, I figured if I was able to get any down it wouldn't be much! and I was right!!! one bite, ok, that went ok, I think, second bite nope not so well... yup you guessed it, I found myself running to the ladies room to get rid of it! Stupid me can't learn from those 2 bites not working... I come back to the table and tried a 3rd bite. AND Stole a french fry from my friends plate next to me! 2 minutes later only to be running to the ladies room again! That was the last straw. I had had enough! I told DH pay the bill I gotta get home before I have to "slime" again.

Our drive home from this restaurant is 25 minutes long and in those 25 minutes I slimed in the parking lot, and had to have DH pull over 3 times to do it again. UGH! Got home and sat up in bed till I fell asleep just praying that I wouldn't have to get up and run downstairs to the bathroom again! I Didn't. But What I did do was wake up at 4 am with such horrible cramps in my calves. BOTH of them! And when I tried to straighten them out that muscle in my shins would cramp. I got up to tried and walk them out and could barley walk at all! I managed to get rid of the cramps, but not until after I had to sit on the top of the landing because I felt as if I were about to pass out! I think my cats thought I was crazy. I was so afraid to eat or drink anything all day yesterday. But I did manage to get in and keep in about 40 oz of Vitamin water, 20 oz of very, very hot cider and some pretzels that I sucked on till they were about disintegrated before I dared swallow them. all of which stayed down. I only had a sliming episode once yesterday and that was long after dinner (that consisted of a bite size piece of hot dog cut into 4 little pieces and a tablespoon of sauerkraut, chewed till I couldn't chew it no more). Oh I got all my meds down yesterday too and it's a good thing too cuz without my potassium I would not have been able to stand another cramping episode, my muscles feel as if I have ran a marathon from the first one!

 I called my Dr.'s office yesterday afternoon just to see if anyone was on call and could/would be able to see me just incase I felt the need and all I could do was leave a message that they wouldn't get till this morning anyway. So I waited and called at 8 am hoping to chat with my surgeon or at the very least his nurse. I got both! I chatted with his nurse for about 15 minutes and she said that she would talk to him when he got in and call me back. She didn't call me back HE DID! (Wow, I was amazed) He basically said that he could do what ever I wanted him to do. It was totally up to me but if I wanted to have an unfill he wanted to do it asap. I said, let me see how things go here at work today and I'll call you back. He says ok, and we hang up!

I have taken all my meds. albeit very cautiously but they all went down, none got stuck, so maybe I have turned the corner. I start to drink my water for the day and realize that it seems to feel like it is sitting in my throat for a few minutes before it completely goes down... I don't think it is supposed to do that! I ate a snack pack pudding cup and it does the same thing. So I bite the bullet and call the office again! She says, "come in at 3. He is on call tonight and he wants to see you before he leaves for rounds." I say, "Ok, I'll be there" So I go in and he says "tell me what is happening" I do and we decide that the best thing is to back a little out and come back in 4 weeks to put that little bit (and maybe more) back in.

It's not good to be afraid to eat or drink and I really didn't like the thought of all that sliming I've done in 4 days! So, Now Eileen (Yes, incase you haven't read the previous blog, I have named my band Eileen) has .25cc's less fill but I can drink my water again!!! AND the best part... I know it was way to fast and not done the right way, but I'm down 11 lbs since I was in the office last Thursday and got the fill! 2 more pounds and I'll OFFICIALLY be in ONEDERLAND!!! Yahoo!!!!!!!!