Just Not Sure, I'm afraid...

...that Eileen doesn't like me much right now! She seems so finicky. Mornings with my hot, hot coffee everything goes thru her fine. Lunches, not working so well right now... Dinners? small and nutritious are great! Then a big mug of hot hot tea before bed seems to just do the trick... I really am not sure if I am still a little to tight or if it's just WHAT I am eating.

You see I LOVE tomatoes, diced, stewed, sauce, juice, you name it, I really like my tomatoes. But it seems that ever since last Saturday night when I couldn't keep the wings down, I have a real problem with anything spicy or acidic. Never happened before my 2nd fill. I could eat anything I wanted within reason and portion size.

Yesterday I had left over homemade marinara sauce on some angel hair for lunch. Took one or 2 bites and found myself literally running to the bathroom to get rid of it. I put it back in the lunch bag and pulled out the vanilla pudding. That went down but not easily. And then I gave up! I went back to my desk and sipped on water. AND then to top it all off ended up being sick to my stomach all afternoon and evening. Couldn't get home for a good meal before I had to be at a choral rehearsal so I stopped at Mickey D's. (I know, I know, shoot me NOW, but I had to get SOMETHING in me!) I was good, I had the $3 fillet and fry deal. Ate ONLY the fillet, NO bread, and about 1/2 the fries. and it was fine! They went down, stayed down and my stomach felt almost, I said ALMOST 100% better. So I'm thinking ok... I am getting back on track here...

...NOT!!! I got up today, hot coffee vitamins, meds, and off to work with a piece of peanut butter covered flat-bread toast in hand. (Did I mention that I am not, nor have I ever been, much of a breakfast eater) No problem, get to work and I really wanted some juice... Tomato Juice. Got it, poured it... ya know those little 4 oz cans. Took a couple sips and BAMM, I'm off to the bathroom and sliming it up! Man this really sucks!

I've been sick to my stomach and very careful of everything I have tried to put in my mouth/stomach all day... I'm thinking I need more "Unfill". I am afraid to have much more taken out because then won't it be to much out and I won't have any restriction again?  But wait I got home tonight and I actually ate AND Kept down 3 of the wings that were left over from Saturday. DH was saving them for me cuz he knows how much I love them! Maybe? Could it be? I've turned the corner and Eileen likes me again? Maybe, I just need to "work up" to my tomatoes!

OK, now it's... Unfill #1

Yes that's right I had to have an "unfill"! Well, I didn't HAVE to but I feel better now that I can get my water down without waiting for it to not feel like it was sitting in my throat for a minute before I could take another drink!


Thursday when I had my fill... It seemed like I might be tighter than I thought I should be BUT ya know this is all a learning experience, so I thought to myself... "I can deal with this, I can't have anything but liquids for 24 hours anyway". It was the next day when I couldn't get any of my BP or even the tiniest HRT pill down without feeling like it was stuck, or throwing it back up that scared me. I e-mailed a few of you to see what you thought and out of the answers, I got 2 wait and see's and 1 go back and get some out. I chose to wait and see... Shoulda listened to the go back and get some out! I had a concert to do on Saturday and time just wasn't on my side this weekend! I was ok Thursday night and Friday (didn't have anything to eat, just drinking) but then ate a little bit of baked potato and 3 cooked baby carrots for dinner Friday. I even managed a bite of steak that my friend made for me. It went down... slowly but it went, AND it stayed down with no urges to come back up! So I was thinking "I'm Good!"  WRONG... Saturday was a whole different story! I got up and could NOT get any of my meds down. I tried to eat and it came back up. I finally decided that any type of protein or vitamins was better than nothing at all. So I started drinking vitamin water. It really seemed to be the only thing going down and staying down. Went to the concert (It was great I might add) and then the chorus went out after wards for the normal after concert party!

I LOVE wings, and this place we always go, has the best in the area. DH & I decided to try sharing some, I figured if I was able to get any down it wouldn't be much! and I was right!!! one bite, ok, that went ok, I think, second bite nope not so well... yup you guessed it, I found myself running to the ladies room to get rid of it! Stupid me can't learn from those 2 bites not working... I come back to the table and tried a 3rd bite. AND Stole a french fry from my friends plate next to me! 2 minutes later only to be running to the ladies room again! That was the last straw. I had had enough! I told DH pay the bill I gotta get home before I have to "slime" again.

Our drive home from this restaurant is 25 minutes long and in those 25 minutes I slimed in the parking lot, and had to have DH pull over 3 times to do it again. UGH! Got home and sat up in bed till I fell asleep just praying that I wouldn't have to get up and run downstairs to the bathroom again! I Didn't. But What I did do was wake up at 4 am with such horrible cramps in my calves. BOTH of them! And when I tried to straighten them out that muscle in my shins would cramp. I got up to tried and walk them out and could barley walk at all! I managed to get rid of the cramps, but not until after I had to sit on the top of the landing because I felt as if I were about to pass out! I think my cats thought I was crazy. I was so afraid to eat or drink anything all day yesterday. But I did manage to get in and keep in about 40 oz of Vitamin water, 20 oz of very, very hot cider and some pretzels that I sucked on till they were about disintegrated before I dared swallow them. all of which stayed down. I only had a sliming episode once yesterday and that was long after dinner (that consisted of a bite size piece of hot dog cut into 4 little pieces and a tablespoon of sauerkraut, chewed till I couldn't chew it no more). Oh I got all my meds down yesterday too and it's a good thing too cuz without my potassium I would not have been able to stand another cramping episode, my muscles feel as if I have ran a marathon from the first one!

 I called my Dr.'s office yesterday afternoon just to see if anyone was on call and could/would be able to see me just incase I felt the need and all I could do was leave a message that they wouldn't get till this morning anyway. So I waited and called at 8 am hoping to chat with my surgeon or at the very least his nurse. I got both! I chatted with his nurse for about 15 minutes and she said that she would talk to him when he got in and call me back. She didn't call me back HE DID! (Wow, I was amazed) He basically said that he could do what ever I wanted him to do. It was totally up to me but if I wanted to have an unfill he wanted to do it asap. I said, let me see how things go here at work today and I'll call you back. He says ok, and we hang up!

I have taken all my meds. albeit very cautiously but they all went down, none got stuck, so maybe I have turned the corner. I start to drink my water for the day and realize that it seems to feel like it is sitting in my throat for a few minutes before it completely goes down... I don't think it is supposed to do that! I ate a snack pack pudding cup and it does the same thing. So I bite the bullet and call the office again! She says, "come in at 3. He is on call tonight and he wants to see you before he leaves for rounds." I say, "Ok, I'll be there" So I go in and he says "tell me what is happening" I do and we decide that the best thing is to back a little out and come back in 4 weeks to put that little bit (and maybe more) back in.

It's not good to be afraid to eat or drink and I really didn't like the thought of all that sliming I've done in 4 days! So, Now Eileen (Yes, incase you haven't read the previous blog, I have named my band Eileen) has .25cc's less fill but I can drink my water again!!! AND the best part... I know it was way to fast and not done the right way, but I'm down 11 lbs since I was in the office last Thursday and got the fill! 2 more pounds and I'll OFFICIALLY be in ONEDERLAND!!! Yahoo!!!!!!!!

I have decided...

...To name my band! DH and I have been discussing names for her... And well tonight he thought of a good one... at least I think it is good! Since my port is tilted slightly downward, he says I should call her Eileen! Ya know "I Lean"? It also could be for "I plan to be lean". Ok you can stop laughing now and just call me crazy!

Fill #2

I have to say I am almost ashamed of myself, for not posting this sooner however I have been running, running, and running for the last 2 weeks for one reason or another. First it was DH's car that died and I had to not only figure out a way to get him TO work but then had to go and get him after work too! And then there is the issue that I work too! Got that situation straightened out and then I had vocal practice for one thing or another EVERY night or afternoon for the last 8 days. (I have 2 more before I can rest my voice for a week then I'm back into it again!)

Anyway, Thursday 3/25 was my appointment for my 2nd fill and I was really nervous and completely praying that it would NOT be an ordeal like the first one! Turns out it was not! I will copy BG here and say it was "Easy Peasey".  I walked into the office after a very long day of work, appointment was for 3:00 PM. and did all the normal rigamaroll with the nurse. Then my surgeon comes in and says... "Not getting any restriction?" (I had not lost any weight since the last fill, I was EXACTLY the same) So I say... "well, no, not really. I have had a few "stuck" episodes but no real feeling of restriction".  He then precedes to have me lay on the table and puts the pillow under the small of my back. (My port is to the right of my belly button). I almost felt as if he wanted me to do a back bend, ya know like the gymnasts in the Olympics do on the balance beam! HAHAHA... Not yet but maybe after I get to goal! He tells me that "just in case" he is going to numb the area this time! Ok, that doesn't bother me, then he gets the fill needle and BAMM... (Not that hard) :-) right into the port on the first try no searching no prying around no pushing! Just a little "pop" feeling... NO 2nd, 3rd or 4th tries! Yahoo, I'm getting really excited now! I sit up... He puts in a little, I take a drink, he puts in a little more, a little more and then a little more... Nope, not that much... backs a little out! Ok feels restrictive but not to tight to me so we call it good! another 1.5 CC's are in my band right now. I am at a total of 3.25.

I'm out of the office and one my way to another singing practice! All before 3:45... Yippee, I sure do hope they are all this easy from here on out!

Stuck... UGH!

Hi all... I'm off the hometown comfort PC for blogging this weekend at an educational event for my competition chorus and quartet... and I just have to tell you that I have had a couple of horrible "stuck" scares this week... Let me elaborate and please tell me what you think. What YOUR opinion is of the 2 situations... #1. was Thursday at work, I had put a left over portion of a quesadilla in the microwave and then found a seat in the staff lounge to wait for it to cook. While waiting I put a spoonful of tuna on a saltine cracker and shoved it in my mouth... I have never been stuck. I've had pills go down really hard but nothing like either one of the situations this week. Anyway after chewing and swallowing the tuna covered cracker, I suddenly felt the horrid feeling that OMG, I think that cracker got stuck... OMG this really hurts... and OMG I think I'm going to throw up, PLEASE GOD, don't let me throw up. There are other staff in the lounge and thankfully I was able to slither sneak out and head to the ladies room thinking I was not going to make it... I did... leaving my lunch sitting on the table. then when I got into the bathroom I managed to get a burp out without expelling anything except air... whew! what ever that was finally went down with all the saliva that was being swallowed you would have thought that it would have gonn thru alot sooner than it did... but NO. it made me miserable for at least a good horrible 5 minutes first... Ok that passed, I was afraid to eat after that so I slowly went back to my desk and got down a protien drink... All I can think of is that I didn't chew the cracker enough and topped with the tuna... well I'm sure you are all well aware of what I went thru.

Then this weekend I am away... what a great educational time I have been having singing and learning how to make the songs we sing much better than we are for this competitionn coming up in May and well... #2 happens like this... I get up this morning, take my shower, vitamins and am ready to go... I've been up for almost 2 1/2 hours, the rest of my quartet wants to go eat breakfast before heading to our first coaching session... Ok, I can handle that I'm hungry, haven't had anything except vitamin water and vitamins, so I figure a breakfast of eggs and bacon would be good... right... WRONG! I get the breakfast buffet in the hotel restaurant. $8.95... good deal for how much food you would have been able to eat on my OLD size stomach before the band! I get a spoonful of eggs, a handful of bacon slices, and a spoonful of homefried potatoes (with some hot sauce and ketchup). NOW, remember that there are only a very small handful of my friends that know about my band. One is the bass in my quartet. (Another one is a fellow "lead" in my chorus.) My bass was with me... I grab a bite of bacon... now this bacon was not done real well. I really wish it had been crispier. I bite off 1/2 a slice and chew and swallow... OMG here we go again... my eyes start to water, my mouth starts to water... and I start to hiccup. God this hurts. please go down, please go down... FINALLY... My bass is starting to panic I can see it on her face... My bari (who just so happens to be 21 years old) looks at me and starts to say... are you ok? Waitress shows up and says "can I get anyone anything" Whew... thank you for the impecable timing of that waitress. I take a sip of OJ... and very very slowly eat the rest of my eggs and homefries... left the bacon... I think if it had been more crispy like I lik eit anyway, I would not have had a problem... Why is it that we are tighter in the morning? I thought I'd be ok... I normally eat after being up 2 hours in the morning... Was it the bacon???

I'm very interested to see what your thoughts on both situations are... Please let me know... Tonight I am relaxing with my roomate (My bass) at the hotel. we have a 7 hour meeting that we must attend tomorrow and then I will be heading home. Hope the rest of your weekend is enjoyable. Pray that I do not have anymore STUCK problems.... Not just this weekend but EVER, Ever again!!!