Sunday Babbles

Another busy week it has been for me. It seems that the older I get the faster the time goes by so I apologize right now if it seems like I have been MIA alot lately. Anyway, the last concert of the season last night, is now behind me and there will be no real commitments that I must adhere to in that area for a few months. Summer is a time of rest and only fun practices for that area of my life. So I should be able to concentrate more on my eating habits and losing this extra 50 pounds that I still want to lose! I really, really want to be closer to goal by my brothers wedding in October. (he is the ONLY person in my family besides DH, that knows about my journey with Eileen {band}& Filene {port}) He and his fiance' have asked me to sing at the wedding and this also means that my 2 older sisters (along with many other family members that haven't seen me in a long time) will be here and I just want to surprise the crap out of them. I have always been the "fat little sister"! I am the youngest of 5 and what will they think when I am not over 200 lbs any more... Wait, I'm under 200 pounds NOW! :-)

I have 2 things happening tomorrow that I am anxiously awaiting. Number 1 is a appointment at a new Gym to start my 3 month free membership that I won at the "Race for a Cure". I am excited yet nervous to start going to a "normal" persons gym instead of the Hospital "Rehab" Gym where only cardiac or bariatric surgery patients can go. Number 2 is yet another appointment for a fill at the surgeons office. I am a little nervous about that as every time I have tried to get this 3rd fill I've ended up having it taken out because it was just to much.I want to get a little more restriction, but I don't want to have to end up going back in a few days because I can't get a normal food to go thru or stay down. I know it is all a learning process and I sometimes think that I pressure myself into thinking that something isn't going to go down. So it doesn't! AHHH the mental tricks one can play on oneself! There is a support group meeting tomorrow night as well so I may just have to talk to someone there about their fill experiences! I know what I do (or don't do) I just need to remember it all the time instead of only part of the time. How do you mentally get it? How do/did YOU remember to eat very small meals and chew till it's mush. And not to let the rapid eating of everyone else at the table pressure you into eating faster to "keep up" so they aren't waiting for you to finish?

I Cleaned out some of my old "fat" clothes this week. I gave (let borrow) a size 18 & a size 16 bathing suit some 2X sweatshirts and a size 18 scooter to a friend of mine. She is taking a vacation and needed some specific items for certain adventures. It felt good to be able to say you can have that but, ya know that "mental trick" I just mentioned... Well, as she was walking out my door with the clothes, I said, "Now don't get rid of them after the trip because I might need them back if I gain this weight back" Then, I turned around and thought to myself... What am I thinking? I have Eileen to help me now. I won't need those clothes back! But damn, I really, really like those bathing suits!!! :-)

Anyway I need to catch up on my blog reading... So I'll keep this short, (I can hear you all now... Yeah right I've heard that before). LOL. I just have one more question. And I think I've asked it before but, what can I say I'm a "dirty" blond. (More dirty than blond, but at this time I am more blond than dirty... hehehe) can someone please tell remind me what NSV stands for?